Well its been another age since i blogged and the water has been flowing under the bridge at a rate of knots!  I had kinda given up writing stuff down as I never have time, am too tired and who reads this anyway.  However three things require comment, these are in no particular order, The fucking Metro newspaper, Indianna Jones and wanking at work.

 

Global depression and market failure is the fault of the Metro, it has singularly caused Londoners to stop buying houses they can't afford and no longer to continue piling on the credit.  Instead day after day of Metro headlining that we are all broke, going to lose our houses, oil has run out, the trains can't cope, you are all going to lose your jobs and you won't survive the century.  I would like to have a sample of recent headlines to share the misery with you but stopped reading the paper to save my sanity.  You do get the feeling if they said something helpful or positive ever then we might not be in this economic slowdown.  Anyway the campaign starts here to ban the Metro.  If you want a happy life, don't read the news, its not worth worrying yourself over Mondays headline 'Everyone to die at 10am'.

 

Never have more than a triology of films, it should be the new rule in hollywood, after destroying the Star Wars franchise, Lucas with his old pal Speilberg have turned their attention to ruining another trilogy.  Those who have not seen the film yet might want to stop reading at this point and skip to my final subject of the day the office wank.  Those who have stayed to read the reasons I think the new film sucks, read on on... 

 

 

1) Its starts from the beginning with the stupid animated mere cats, possibly only beaten by the animated monkeys and stupid ants.  Lucas had to get his CGI fix in before the final alien scene.

2) We all know the film has switched its attention to the Soviet threat or in Kate Blanchets case some part Russian/American/English accent depending on her mood, however we do not need a nuclear explosion to highlight the times and Indie being saved by Fridge.

3) What was with the plot, I think the plot only said one thing a hundred times, the crystal skull which isn't crystal, is not human and must be returned, it also attracts metal when it feels like it.  There was no plot.

4) What was with the Tarzan trailer half way through the film, as the Indie sidekick, swapped roles from being Marlon Brando in fifties leather to Tarzan swinging through the jungle pursued by cgi monkeys, managing to catch a car that was speeding away...

5) The odd Indie torture scene where he is exposed to the Alien skull to find out the secrets but doesn't and nothing happens

6) The stupid english man who changes sides a number of times with no motive, double agent, ten times over!

7) Must fit scene with snake in, poinless at that!

8) The odd graveyard guards with no motive, who were they!

9) The Inca guards to the temple who were a bit rubbish and pointless, didn't threaten.

10) The stupid alien cgi and end point of the film, again boring!

11) The daft wedding, why? indie is a boys own hero who doesn't get married!

 

Really all in all the film sucked, some good chase scenes let down by lack of tension in the whole plot, no excitement - where was the tension that made up the Bolder chase at the start of Raiders, the comic moments of the sword fighter vs the gun, the coolness of Indie evading capture and ending up on the submarine, the making of the myth believable, the traps, the comic interaction with the women...  Its all gone.

 

 

I have been getting into work early of late and decided that i fancied a visit to the toilet for a poo.  I find my cubicle on the sixth floor and sit down and go about my business.  Suddenly from the next cubicle I hear the unmistakable sound of someone knocking one off, obviously having a good time.  In blind panic I decide to get out of my cubicle in fear that someone coming into the toilet might think it was me.  He was obviously getting close as his hand slammed onto the cubicle wall.  I washed up and then exited the toilet.  Phew!  then I thought, who was it!  It was only early and few people ever get in before 9.  In fact there are only a few options on my floor.  I'll struggle to look most in the face again, I'll also be avoiding the cubicle thrid from the left!  Everyone said I should have waited to see who it was but to be honest I don't really want to know who the wanker was!